FML.

So, I didn't get the job I interviewed for, which looked reasonably promising during the interview. We're rapidly coming up on a year of futile employment search, and it's getting fucking old. In one big fucking hurry.

If I had the wherewithal to open my own solo firm, I'd do it. I don't. So I'm stuck at the mercy of this shitty economy. And apparently, I'm not even worth hiring for jobs for which I'm well overqualified (the last one was to be a paralegal, and I have a goddamn law degree, for fuck's sake).

So here's my remaining options, as I see them:

Option #1: Study the fine art of hydroponics. Start medical marijuana grow op. Name myself CEO/quality control tester.

Option #2: Following in the footsteps of a law school classmate, join the State Department. Resign myself to the fact that my luck will never allow me to be sent someplace awesome like Germany or Ireland. Get shipped to Papua New Guinea or the fucking Congo where (again, given my luck) I'll wind up being Patient Zero in the next ebola outbreak.

Option #3: Sell everything I own. Move to Caribbean island of choice and open bar on beach. Completely cease giving a fuck.

Option #4: Write novel. Have it fail harder than Brian Griffin's "Faster Than the Speed of Love." Resort to either option #3 or #6.

Option #5: Compile list of current nonextradition countries. Rob bank. Go to one of aforementioned countries.

Option #6: Determine if there's a nice cliff I can Thelma and Louise the Pontiac into the lake from.