Sunday, September 2, 2012

Two months between updates... that's not bad, right?

Still no baby, although we're getting close.

Also still no job. Nothing will piss you off quite so much as applying for a job where you actually have a HIGHER level certification than what the opening calls for and finding out that you were classified as "qualified" but not "most qualified," so you aren't being considered. This is my life.

I'm going to start posting more often, even once the baby gets here, if for no other reason than people in this world say a lot of stupid shit and I think they need to be called out on it.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Let's try this again...

I'm going to make an attempt to revive this. We'll see if it sticks.

Lots of updates since the last time I did something substantive with this, roughly a year ago:

- My wife Charity and I are expecting a son in September, Hogan David Krebs. And no, I did not name him after the Hulkster.

- Our dog, Dakota, had a slight bout with arthritis in her spine, resulting in her being unable to walk for most of December and January. Fortunately, she's mostly back to normal.

- I posted pictures of our four cats last summer. Three of them are now either dead or have run off. In the interim, both of the calicos and the black and white one had litters of kittens, and the surviving one of the original four (Wesa) and two of the kids have had additional litters. Long story short, if all of the kittens make it and hang around (and if the two cats that vanished over our long weekend away from home last weekend return), we now have seventeen goddamn cats. The ones that were formerly indoors got the boot outside because of the baby, so at least I'm done with litter boxes. And barn cats tend to come and go fairly rapidly here.

- I briefly had a job, off and on for three months, doing data entry work as a temp. Other than that, my life as the broken dick of employability sadness continues.

- Oh, and the stupid f**king mower is broken again, so we're right back where we started in this damn story.

The house-husband dynamic is going to be changing a bit as well, as my wife will be home quite a bit more. Which reminds me, I need to stash the frying pans somewhere she can't find them so that she'll be unarmed when I say something stupid and incite another bout of "pregnancy rage."

Monday, October 31, 2011

Still living, I promise.

A combination of computer issues and general apathy have led to the lack of updating. I'll try to be better in the coming weeks.

Sunday, August 14, 2011


So, computer slowness issues since that virus and a couple of busy weeks have prevented a post recently. A few updates to let everyone know that yes, I am in fact still living. Wipe that disappointed look off your faces.

The last couple weeks have included a weekend trip to Yellowstone (some photos to be added to this post later if my internet connection will cooperate long enough to upload them). If anyone reading this is headed to the park for a late-season trip, we saw almost no animals at all in the main part of the park. So if you're going, you may want to consider driving out the spurs to the west entrance/West Yellowstone and the east entrance/Cooke City. Literally everything we saw was out one of those two roads.

They've also included the county fair, which isn't as much fun when you've lost the will to drink heavily. On the other hand, my wife took Best in Show for her jalapeno pepper jelly and six blue ribbons for some of her photography.

Our cat that was pregnant had her kittens, four of them. Those pictures will also be up soon, again internet-not-being-a-douchelord permitting.

I've also decided, given that we're now officially into presidential election season after the Iowa straw poll that I'm going to do a little profile of all the Republican candidates. As I'm writing this, I've just learned that Pawlenty has already withdrawn, so I won't be doing a profile for him. Sorry if he was a candidate you liked, and to be honest, had I done one for him, it would in all likelihood have been more flattering (or at least, less harsh) than the ones you'll probably be reading.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

If I ever meet the guy who dreamed up this little bastard...

...I'm going to cut off his balls and feed them to my dog.

Sunday, I was forced to spend almost nine hours trying to eliminate a particularly nasty virus/malware piece of shit that somehow made its way onto my computer. It's called "XP Antivirus 2012," and in addition to impersonating legitimate Windows alerts, it also hijacks Internet Explorer and Firefox (and, through conversations with friends, I've determined it can also apparently take over Chrome). The IE-hijack makes it particularly annoying because it took me over an hour and a half to find out how to get rid of it and then another two hours to get the only free malware removal program that actually can get rid of this damn thing.

If anyone reading this is unfortunate enough to pick this up, go immediately to YouTube and find instructions from a profile on there called ComputerFriends and save yourself hours of trying to search while internet use is hit-or-miss. One further word of advice; when I removed mine, it also disassociated .exe files in my Windows Registry and you'll have to fix that as well.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


So, I didn't get the job I interviewed for, which looked reasonably promising during the interview. We're rapidly coming up on a year of futile employment search, and it's getting fucking old. In one big fucking hurry.

If I had the wherewithal to open my own solo firm, I'd do it. I don't. So I'm stuck at the mercy of this shitty economy. And apparently, I'm not even worth hiring for jobs for which I'm well overqualified (the last one was to be a paralegal, and I have a goddamn law degree, for fuck's sake).

So here's my remaining options, as I see them:

Option #1: Study the fine art of hydroponics. Start medical marijuana grow op. Name myself CEO/quality control tester.

Option #2: Following in the footsteps of a law school classmate, join the State Department. Resign myself to the fact that my luck will never allow me to be sent someplace awesome like Germany or Ireland. Get shipped to Papua New Guinea or the fucking Congo where (again, given my luck) I'll wind up being Patient Zero in the next ebola outbreak.

Option #3: Sell everything I own. Move to Caribbean island of choice and open bar on beach. Completely cease giving a fuck.

Option #4: Write novel. Have it fail harder than Brian Griffin's "Faster Than the Speed of Love." Resort to either option #3 or #6.

Option #5: Compile list of current nonextradition countries. Rob bank. Go to one of aforementioned countries.

Option #6: Determine if there's a nice cliff I can Thelma and Louise the Pontiac into the lake from.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Comic Strip FTW!

If you've never read Max Cannon's "Red Meat" (printed in a variety of alternative newspapers), you owe it to yourself to go to his website ( and read a few. Start with Ted and Bug-Eyed Earl. You'll especially enjoy them if you have the same kind of dark, smart-assed sense of humor I have. A few samples for your viewing pleasure: